100 : Grandma’s 100th
100/365
Characters:
Grandma
Joey – Grandson
Victor – Joey’s Friend
Vanessa – Joey’s Mom/Grandma’s Daughter
Uncle Bert – Vanessa’s Brother/ Grandma’s Son
Guests (multiple)
Setting:
Grandma’s House
- – - – -
Family and friends fill Grandma’s living room. Grandma sits on a love seat as the younger people stand and mosey about. Joey, Grandma’s Grandson, enters holding a wrapped present with his friend, Victor. Upon walking in, Joey’s mother, Vanessa, spots him.
Vanessa: Joey! You made it!
Joey: Hey mom!
Vanessa walks over to Joey and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
Vanessa: I’m glad you made it. And Victor! Good to see you, too.
Victor: Hi there Ms. Jones. It’s been too long. You’re looking great.
Vanessa: Thank you. And my, have you grown up.
Joey: Alright you two.
Vanessa: I’m glad you made it. Just so you two know, there’s a ton of food; eat up.
Victor: Now that you mention it -
Vanessa points.
Victor: Thank you.
Victor makes his way to the food.
Vanessa: So where’s Rebecca? I thought she’d make it too.
Joey: She’s out celebrating her 21st with her girlfriends.
Vanessa: That’s right. She has the same birthday.
Joey: Yeah, I’ll be seeing her in a little bit.
Vanessa: Well, let her know she is missed and happy birthday. Hey, now that you’re here, go say hello to the birthday girl.
Joey: Oh yeah. Where is the little lady?
Vanessa: Right over there and dying to see you.
Joey makes his way over to Grandma in the loveseat as mother returns to the flow of the room.
Joey: Hi Grandma! Happy Birthday!
Grandma nods and smiles and blows a kiss.
Joey: Oh c’mon; none of that. Get over here: we’re family.
Joey goes in and gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Joey: Man, I remember as if it were yesterday when you were only… 80 years young. Feels like yesterday.
Grandma waves him off.
Joey: No, I’m serious. You could be posing for Playboy with a figure like that. I’m just saying. Alright, I’m going to grab something to eat. You want anything; food; drink?
Grandma nods and slightly shakes no.
Joey: Alright. Don’t get too crazy over here. Still a lot of party left.
Joey walks over to the food table and grabs a plate. Victor comes over and joins him holding a plate full of food.
Joey: Eatten in days?
Victor: Not this well. How’s grandma-ma?
Joey: Still kicking.
Victor: Good. How about your other lady?
Joey: I’m assuming she’s good. Haven’t heard anything yet (checks phone).
Victor: So what do you get a woman who’s been around since the turn of the last century, by the way?
Joey: What did I get her? A kaleidoscope.
Victor: Nice!
Joey: Right?!
Victor: What about Rebecca? What did you get her?
Joey: I got her something a little more naughty.
Victor: Nice again!
Vanessa: (to room) Time for cake, everyone!
Victor: Super nice!!!
Everyone makes their way to the table. Joey puts the gift he’s been holding down on the table near the cake alongside other gifts. Grandma slowly makes her way to the table and sits in the center. Once everyone is ready and quiet around the table, Uncle Bert walks in carrying a cake with one candle.
Uncle Bert: On three everyone! One, two, three!
Everyone sings “Happy Birthday.” Grandma remains frozen, sitting in her chair, after the song finishes. Joey pulls out his cell phone which is vibrating in his pocket. Pause.
Vanessa: Alright Mom, blow out your candle.
Nothing; Grandma remains frozen. Joey quietly reads aloud the text to himself.
Joey: (to self) Why’d you get me a kaleidoscope? Oh no.
Victor: Uh oh.
Vanessa: Mom?
Grandma collapses and falls onto the table. Everyone’s shocked.
Vanessa: Mom!
The impact of the fall causes Joey’s package to start vibrating amongst all the other gifts on the table. People begin tending to Grandma; some noticing the moving gift.
Uncle Bert: What’s going on there?
Bert goes to grab the package but Joey reaches and grabs it before him.
Joey: It’s nothing! Not important!
Vanessa: Someone! Can someone help me?
Joey throws the package out of scene.
Joey: What about Grandma!?
Uncle Bert: But-
Joey: Call an ambulance, Bert!
Uncle Bert: Alright!
Vanessa: No, no, no; it’s just her narcolepsy. She’ll come back.
Victor: But what about her head. She hit it pretty bad.
Vanessa: I know. Let’s see where she’s at when she comes to. Can you grab an ice pack Bert?
Uncle Bert: On it.
Bert leaves the room.
Joey: Wow, that was close.
Victor: I know!
Vanessa: I know.
Victor: So lucky, dude.
Vanessa: So, so lucky. She could have fallen into the cake? Then what?
Victor: We could only have been so lucky.
Joey: (to Grandma) Hey there birthday girl, you alright? You hit your head pretty bad.
As Grandma comes to, she nods.
Vanessa: Good. Bert’s getting you ice. You’re going to be alright, alright? Gave us a good scare there.
Victor: You want to know an ancient remedy I know that will help her recover quicker… cake.
Vanessa: Victor.
Victor: What?
Joey: Should we get Grandma somewhere a little more comfy?
Vanessa: Yeah. Do you boys mind-
Victor: We’ve got it covered.
Vanessa: The boys are going to take you to your seat Mom, okay? A little more comfortable. Okay?
Grandma nods. The boys walk around to each side of Grandma. She stands up and each grab and arm and help her to the love seat. Bert brings in an ice pack and puts it on Grandma’s head.
Uncle Bert: There you are Mom. How’s that feel?
Grandma falls asleep again and the ice pack falls off and into her lap. Everyone looks around at each other.
Vanessa: I’ll grab it.
Vanessa grabs and removes the ice pack from Grandma’s lap.
Victor: Remind me never to get old.
Vanessa smacks Victor with the ice pack in the arm/chest.
Victor: What!? It’s true!
Uncle Bert: I hope she wakes up soon so she can open presents.
Vanessa: Oh yeah! C’mon mom, you want presents?
Grandma’s still asleep.
Uncle Bert: Maybe this’ll help. Hey mom, want to open some presents?
Uncle Bert pulls Joey’s gift out from behind his back.
Victor: Oh, god yes.
Joey: Oh god.
Uncle Bert: This one’s from… Joey! Hey!
Uncle Bert shakes it a little and puts it into Grandma’s lap. Grandma sleeps.
Vanessa: C’mon mom; presents.
Lights out. Box begins vibrating.
