121 : Girl Scouts of Amerika (for jim)
121/365
4/11/2010
Characters:
Mom
Liz – Girl Scout, Daughter
Nica – Girl Scout
Jasmin – Girl Scout
Guy
Woman
Creep
Setting:
Outside Shopping Area; Day
- – - – -
The Girl Scouts and Mom finish setting up their table of cookies and are excited to start making sales.
Mom: Looking good girls… and the display looks great too. I wouldn’t be surprised if we sell ‘em all by noon.
Liz: C’mon mom.
Mom: Hey, I believe in you girls. And now that we’re done setting up, I’m going to do a little shopping nearby. Sell those cookies, girls!
Girls: Bye!
Mom leaves scene.
Mom: Make me proud!
Jasmin: Isn’t your mom supposed to stay with us?
Liz: Whatever. We can do this ourselves.
Nica: We’re girl scouts; it’s what we do.
Jasmin: I guess.
Liz: Time to make some sales.
Liz hikes up her skirt a little and undoes a button on her blouse.
Jasmin: What are you doing?
Liz: I’m getting ready.
Nica: Sex sells, right?
Liz: Exactly.
Nica follows suit and does the same as Liz.
Jasmin: But shouldn’t we make the sales ourselves; not our bodies?
Liz: But if it’s going to make it that much easier to sell this shit to these suckers, why not, right?
Nica: Totally.
Jasmin: You girls can do whatever you want.
Liz: That’s fine.
Guy walks in. Girls get prepped up.
Nica: Hey there! Would you like to buy some of our sweet, sweet goods?
Liz: You know you do.
Nica: C’mon. You know you want to buy our cookies.
Guy: I don’t think so. Not today girls.
Jasmin: Thanks!
Guy walks out.
Liz: Jasmin! What are you doing!?
Jasmin: What?
Liz: You don’t thank them if they didn’t buy anything. That’s like a free, wasted ‘thank you.’ Save them for the customers.
Jasmin: My mom was right; you’re just as conceited as your mom.
Liz: Hey!
Nica: Girls! Someone’s coming!
Girls stop their bickering and get ready for the approaching person. Woman enters scene and approaches the table.
Woman: Selling some cookies?
Nica: Yup!
Woman: Aww, that’s great.
Liz: They’re the sweetest thing you’ll sink your teeth into all day… besides us, of course.
Woman: Excuse me? Is that really your pitch?
Liz: I’m sorry if I was mistaken. It just seemed to me you were a lesbian because of the way you’re dressed.
Woman: And I thought wearing that uniform meant you were a girl scout and trying to become a more self-sufficient, independent young woman.
Jasmin: It does.
Woman: Well it doesn’t seem like that to me.
Nica: Well, we’re the new generation of girl scouts. Sexy, witty…
Woman: You girls stand for nothing the girl scouts of America stand for.
Liz: Yeah? Well you represent everything broken scales stand for.
Jasmin: Liz.
Woman: What!?
Woman takes one intimidating step towards Liz and Liz gets a little startled but tries to save face and get tough back.
Woman: What troupe do you girls represent? I want to know.
Liz: Troupe ‘Get-The-Fuck-Out-Of-Here.’
Woman: Expect a letter from me to your local chapters. This is ridiculous.
Nica: So, would you like to buy a box of our cookies?
Woman: I wanted to support you girls at first but now I see my money would have supported little bitches. So, no thank you.
Jasmin: I’m sorry. Please don’t believe-
Woman: Good-bye.
Woman walks away and leaves.
Nica: We don’t need her business. There’s plenty of other people out there.
Liz: Right? Who does she think she is?
Jasmin: Maybe we should try being nice and legitimately selling our product this time? Rather than-
Liz: Whoa, whoa, whoa. How about we just stick to plan.
Jasmin: Isn’t that the plan?
Nica: Customer!
Girls get themselves prepped up again. Creep walks in.
Nica: Hey there!
Jasmin: Would you like to help support the Girl Scouts of America by buying some of our cookies?
Liz: They’re so moist and delicious, you’ll think they were made out of us girl scouts ourselves.
Creep: Oh yeah?
Liz: Yup. They’ll melt in your mouth just like we do.
Creep: Promise.
Nica: Pinkie-promise.
Nica puts out her pinkie and Creep looks at her hand, then extends his hand out and pinkie-promises.
Creep: Alright. I’ll take fourty.
Jasmin: Cookies?
Creep: No. Boxes.
Liz: Whoooo! Alright!
Creep: If you girls want to bring them to my van over here, that’d be great.
Nica: What kind would you like? How many?
Creep: Surprise me. I want what you’ve got.
Liz: You’ve got it.
Girls go and grab a large box each. Creep watches them as they bend over and grab the boxes. Liz and Nica fight over the boxes and Jasmin is left without a box to carry. Liz and Nica each grab the boxes and walk back to the Creep.
Nica: Alright; where to?
Creep: Follow me.
Liz: Jasmine, you stay here and watch our display. Who knows, maybe you’ll sell a box or two.
Jasmin: I’ll be here.
Nica: See you soon.
Creep leads Liz and Nica out of the scene as Jasmin walks to the opposite side of the scene looking off and around for potential customers.
Creep: (off-scene) Alright if you two want to put those boxes back there in the back; go ahead and get in there.
Liz: (off-scene) Okay. Back here?
Creep: (off-scene) You too.
Nica: (off-scene) Back here?
Creep: (off-scene) A little further… perfect.
Liz: (off-scene) Is that i-
The sound of a van door closing is heard. Jasmin remains ignorant to the whole thing, just looking around at potential customers. The sound of an engine starting and a van pulling away is heard.
Mom walks back in with a few bags in hand and a new, shorter skirt on.
Mom: Hey Jasmin. How are sales?
Jasmin: They’re good.
Mom: Where are the girls?
Jasmin: Oh, you know… around.
Mom: Good. I think it’s time for a mani- and a pedi-. You okay to hold down the cookie fort?
Jasmin: That’s why I’m a girl scout, right?
Mom: Sure. See you soon, darling.
Jasmin: Bye.
Mom leaves. Jasmin looks around again and smiles really wide.
